Introspection and thoughtfulness leave very little time for recording things.  Instead of trying to create a blog entry with a theme or purpose I think I’ll just share some highlights from the past couple of days.

1)  I will be taking down the blog about how annoying boobs can be when trying to get into Marichyasana C in the next day or so.  I’ve always considered myself  to be quite worldly…but looking through the search terms in my blog stats, I realise how naive and innocent I can be.  As for the emails I’ve been getting….bloody hell.  That’s not yogi!  Not at all.

2) Practice is going well, and I’m about as daunted as I am inspired by the dramatic shift in overall experience in the room.  I’m pretty sure, even though I can’t be totally sure, that one of the new girls is the very same woman I used to watch on youtube for inspiration.  She has temporarily distracted me from Mr Buffalofulous…

3) STILL can’t do Marichyasana C without the help of Radha and Prem, well when they help me I feel somewhat in keeping with how the pictures look…when they’re not helping me it’s probably quite a distressing picture to behold.

4) I actually saw someone OHM their food yesterday.  With all the yogic, thou-shalt-not-judge, will in the world I couldn’t help but think “dickhead”.  It’s not the OHM itself, it’s the disingenuous nature of it all.

5) AAAAAAHyurveda, head in hands! has become a bit more…aaaahyurveda, stroking chin and glancing out into the distance.  Taking it slow.  Planting seeds.  Have decided to integrate things as and when they make sense…which, this week will be:  no glugging back water with my meal, do make lunch the main meal of the day, and eat more salads.  See, that’s not so hard is it?  Next week, maybe it’ll be a few things extra, and the week after that something more.  Even just thinking about it at this stage is a positive step – so NO MORE FREAKING OUT!

6) On the cusp, riding the wave, of another break-through.  I think it’s the twists.  Dredging up all that gunk in my lungs, massaging, and pushing my organs into funny shapes.  Its triggering all sorts of side-effects.  Tearfulness, once again.  Poor Prem.  “Its ok to get upset” he reassured me.  “English people aren’t very good at that”  I responded, bottom lip quivering erratically.   Found myself back at the football pitch after class thinking of the universe and then sobbing over this lost puppy that had adopted this family, and they were trying to scare him away, and I, oh lord, I couldn’t watch.  Was like some sort of Disney film, but without the assured happy ending…

7) I’m SCATTY as at the moment.  Am losing everything, literally everything!  I felt the irritable, cheek-flushing rage of my imbalanced Pitta today, as I rummaged through the depleted belongings of my bag in the pouring rain.  Nope.  I don’t have my keys….or phone, or towel, or book.  What the fuck did I do with all of it???

And that, my friends, is the lowdown of the last 48 hours or so….

For the next 48 hours, I have accepted the most wonderfully generous and warm-hearted invitation to stay with a friend.  A beautiful tranquil haven where I intend to sit quietly and let the recent emotional, physical, and philisophical upheaval dance about, eventually tire, and settle.

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